I have been particularly grumpy about Christmas this year. There is much hype and expectation, particularly heaped on women at this time of year, and it is hard to avoid. It has been said Christmas (as we currently celebrate it) would not happen were it not for women. Does that also mean we have the power to change it, if we want to? I think maybe it does.
One of the most annoying parts for me is, most of the tradition centres around Northern Hemisphere, and cold climate practices. In case you aren’t aware of it, it is 100F/38C here in my part of Australia at the moment. Aussies have done their best to move away from the hot cooked foods of our ancestors, but with other things we are not so evolved.
I understand why the tradition of Santa (Kris Kringle) has been perpetuated, but really, that hot, fur trimmed suit and the whole snow thing could take a rest, don’t you think?
Our family livelihood was growing Christmas trees. It was hard work for all of us. Sometimes we actually worked in the fields, trimming and harvesting them. Sometimes we were the support crew for those who did. I can tell you, the spindly, half dead tree I saw in the grocery store this week, presumably the last of a very small selection, bore no resemblance to a tree grown in Southern Ohio, where my brother still grows and sells trees.
In an effort to try and decipher the basis of my grumbles this year, I decided to see if doing things a bit differently might help. Traditions carried over from another life and another land, may just not be the most useful in current times.

party lights amongst my natural treasures
Our daughter and her fiancé will be here for a few days and in an effort to keep my head from spinning right off my body, I asked her if she would mind if I didn’t put up a tree and decorations. She readily said it wasn’t necessary. Bless her. The next thing I did was put hubby on notice, that his useful presence would be required to help with various small chores, among them cooking on the grill.
What to do about the baking? Baking is a hot activity, even in an air conditioned house. I got a window of opportunity two weeks ago when we had a cool, rainy spell, so I quickly decided I would have enough time and energy for one thing and what would that be?? Our daughter always asks for the White Fruitcake and Pecan Sandies. Choose one. I can’t make the Sandies gluten free, but I can make the fruitcake gluten free, so that was the one I chose. Selfish of me, perhaps, but who needs the stress of cooking and being around food you can’t eat yourself?

White Fruit Cake (Gluten free version)
As it happened, another gluten free recipe from my friend Francesca’s blog Almost Italian, came across my inbox in a very timely manner. It looked simple and like it would be the perfect replacement for Sandies. And it is.so.delicious. Baking only takes 15 minutes in a slow oven so even I could accommodate that on a 100F/38C day like yesterday.

Almond, Cherry and Chocolate Biscotti
The whole sending cards thing was a no brainer, and a no-doer. That ship has sailed.
Gifts are minimal and either consumable, as in edible or use-up-able, or in the case of our daughter and her fiancé things that will help them in their life. Hubby and I have each other’s Presence and that is all we need.
So in a nutshell, here are my five changes toward a lower stress Christmas:
- No Christmas decorations, only a small nod to festivity via some party lights and found objects from my morning walks
- Ask for help and keep the cooking simple and on the grill, if possible
- Bake less, enjoy it more
- Don’t send Christmas cards unless you love doing it
- Give gifts that will enhance the other person’s life, not to give you a thrill when they open it
Keeping things simpler has given me a lighter heart. There are no prizes for baking the most, shopping the most, sending the most cards, or having the biggest display of decorations. Presence is the best gift to give everyone, including yourself. Wishing you and yours the best of whatever you want for yourselves.
PS. Here is the proof I do own an apron, and a sense of humour as well! x
That’s quite a lot of preparing for Christmas, esp for one person. Everyone bands together for celebrations in my family.
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Our daughter and fiancé are flying here from interstate but she will help me with some of the preparations once she is here. I just didn’t want all of our time spent sweating in the kitchen. Glad your family is able to work together, sounds great.
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My mom would have our heads if we didn’t. Haha. I hope you guys get it all sorted in time. 🙂
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I truly believe hype is killing Christmas. As happens so often we and our common blogging communit share similar head space. And we’re not alone. Which makes me feel so much more festive.
You might recollect I have been whinging about buying Christmas gifts on demand for a few years now. I went along with it once again this year to keep the peace spending money I would’ve preferred not to. Then frustration got the better of me so I posted a Facebook status update drawing a public line that 2017 gifts would not be Retail, plus they will be given in person only, not delivered or sent before or after. Quite a few people responded with support, suggestions & similar feelings. All female. I suspect blokes wouldn’t care in the slightest if Christmas was cancelled. None in my family would mourn it.
I spent this morning wrapping said gifts in very bad humour, so it’s even sweeter to read your sentiments ♡
No festive decorations for us, upon our return from Dad’s I want to dive straight into my staycation rather than packing away tree decorations. I reinvented my fruitcake recipe into a slab cake and froze it. It doesn’t keep here in the humidity and we’re not fond of alcohol soaked fruitcake. But I will be making Francesca’s biscotti again… and again.
I’m over Christmas cards. I sent 4 to Mum’s family -our only connection- but am responding to any received via phone, email or Facebook messenger where I can. Reciprocal cards will be sent very selectively.
Up until our temps dropped to 20 -21 C mid morning our textbook pre-Christmas weather has been sufficient to invoke seasonal joy but I’ve been supplementing it with burning my favourite Crabtree & Evelyn Noel oil. If I had to choose only one festive accessory, fragrance would be it.
I clicked over to Corsi Tree Farm. It looks fabulous. I have great memories of a real Christmas tree in a bucket of water in the living room of my grandparents’ farmhouse.
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Well, aren’t we just the most kindred of spirits! I persevered with Christmas cards, piece meal, for a few years but I just can’t put myself through it again. I am in touch with everyone I want to be and that will have to be enough. I’m so glad you had a look at Corsi Tree Farm. My brother does a very good job of running it, and like all things done well, it is much harder than it looks. And now to throw some tissue into the tops of the gift bags….
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PS Take note of the red yogurt maker in the right of the photo of me… loving the homemade yogurt and am finally getting into a rhythm with making it. Thanks for the inspiration.
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Very nice. I noticed yoghurt making kits in Woolworths recently. I hope they become popular and answer the lack of good plain yoghurt on the supermarket shelves.
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This is just the latest incarnation of the EasiYo brand. Got it half price ($11) at Woolies in Adelaide. Have already saved that much making my own yogurt and I’m making organic. But I’m not doing it to save money, doing it because I’m tired of the bloody store and their random supply of good, organic, plain yogurt!
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After being in Greece for one Christmas already, we decided to downplay the ‘whole hog’ style Christmas we usually did in the US and in the UK. Now it is IKEA minimal(ist) decorations, minimal presents & minimal baking/cooking. Exploring the countryside on day trips with our son are the best presents we could give each other. It certainly is less stressful and more enjoyable! Merry Christmas Ardys.
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It sounds perfect, Debi. Best wishes to you and your family too.
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Traditions only exist when someone starts them. Well done on starting a new one that suits you and your family. Of course the original traditions are kept because no-one thinks of changing them but maybe now you’ve given women the example they’ll start to make sensible changes to suit themselves.
xxx Huge Hugs Ardys and I wish you a Very Happy Yuletide xxx
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What a very nice way of looking at it. I was trepidatious that I would get comments accusing me of abandoning traditions. I hadn’t truly considered I might be starting my own! Thank you David. Best wishes to you and your sweet family.
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Ardys, I am so happy to know someone else delights in decorating with nature. My house has a few twinkle lights to accent decor gotten from nature hikes, what we have displayed in our home year-around. It just seems more cozy during the holiday season. For many years, I baked more than 1K cookies for holiday gifts – mixing, baking and decorating all in four day’s time. I got burned out a couple of years back. Still today people ask if I will make cookies for them. I have no problem turning them down. We no longer do gift exchange with either of our families – instead, we try to get together for meals and just enjoy each other. You’ve inspired me to get to a blog post I had thought about writing and had not gotten to!! By the way, I love the photo of you – those are some hip eyeglass frames and you look so young and vibrant! I really love your hair style too! Enjoy the holidays with your family. Merry Christmas!
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I am smiling so big at the moment. Thank you very much for the kind comments. My best friend and I often laugh that we think we are staying ‘hip’ and contemporary but we know that to the kids we are still ‘old’! Yes, I did that whole enormous baking thing for years but no more. I really love the decorations I’ve done with the treasures from my walks, way more than with the garish colours of modern ornaments. I’m very happy with my changes. Wishing you a lovely time sharing food with your families.
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I am always grumpy about Christmas and all of the increased activity. However, I always thought it would be easier if Christmas were in July, with hot temps and long days of light. Sounds like that would also have it’s disadvantages. The increased activities would still be the same. But huge kudos to Allison for giving the pass on the tree and not forcing “tradition.”On the flip side, thankfully there are many that will enjoy their fresh cut tree and all that goes with it. The commercial part of Christmas, I hate it. Love this post. One if your best. xo
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I kind of went through the same thought process, wondering if the weather was different would I have more energy and inclination and I decided the problem was not with the weather, it was with me and my desires and choices. The commercial stuff has nothing to do with the original idea of Christmas, nor does most of the stuff we call ‘tradition’ which is less than 100 years old. This year has been a turning point for me and I like it. Thank you for your loving comment. xx
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Years of working in hospitality put Christmas in perspective for me. While I make no claim to being a Christian, I have a small rustic nativity that comes out each year as a reminder it’s not about how much money you spend or how much you eat and drink, Christmas is about family. Our celebration will be small, casual and stress free. I still send out a swag of cards to old friends I rarely see, to let them know we still think of them. I like to do that and I’m pleased that the Christmas card tradition makes me stop and take the time to make contact. Life sweeps us all along at a such a pace. Have a happy and peaceful Christmas Ardys
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It sounds like you have already figured out what works for you, Sandra. Kudos to you! I can’t believe how much happier I am since sorting myself out on this issue. I think the ornaments and the tree in the shed will be finding a new home next year. Very best to you and your family.
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Bravo!!!
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Ardys, you look so beautiful in your apron. But getting back to Christmas, I agree entirely and had a little whinge about it myself at some point. Thanks for the link to my biscotti: they are proving to be quite popular.
With regard to giving meaningful gifts, I made a large traditional Christmas cake for Mum this year and gave it to her yesterday. She lives on her own,so I did consider a scaled down version, but then, she is the one who gets many visitors, and she is the one, now living on her own, who feels obliged to cook sweet biscuits and scones for all those who visit. The cake should tide her over for a few months.
Then we took her to the Softel for lunch- arriving in a taxi and being assisted to the 35th floor by courteous staff. Part of the day was not just the lovely lunch, where neither of us women had to cook, but for her, the views over Melbourne. Being fairly immobile now, this venue enabled her to enjoy the sights of Melbourne from above.
The next experience will be to deliver her 1 dozen freshly shucked oysters today.
As for Mr T and I, we are still sticking to our plan of non mass catering and a quiet Christmas. This may involve a trip on a tram to hear the choir at St Paul’s Cathedral in the city, followed by a Thai supper somewhere.
On the day, a little lobster for two will suffice, along with a bottle of wine, under a shady tree. It will be 35c.
All the best for the season Ardys, and keep finding bush treasure. Art by Nature.
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What a thoughtful series of experiences/gifts you have dreamed for your Mum. I did have a chuckle at the thought of a cake lasting for months! I need some of that self discipline! I think things are organised on this end, enough at least that we can cope with whatever everyone’s needs might be. This is the first dedicated visit from daughter and fiancé but they are both quite flexible and mellow so I will try to be the same 🙂 Very best to you both xx
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I watch (and now help!) my mom go through this every year… so much work, so much pressure! It ruins it for her, so I do what I can, and we simplify all the things my father will allow. (He LOVES Christmas, but on whose shoulders does much of the labor fall? The women!)
I’ve been away from blog world for a long time, but I missed a few friends, so here I am again. Happy Simplified Christmas, A!
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Have a special time with your family, Whitney. Our daughter and her fiancé have arrived and I’m so glad I’ve kept things simple…so much more relaxing for everyone. xx
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