This is Gaz. He’s a Galah. Most Australians use the non-Avian term Galah meaning a human is a fool or idiot. But Gaz is a real Galah and naturally entertaining by nature…mostly. Gaz has established himself as ‘spokes bird’ for the Crested Pigeons in the area. He’s very vocal if I’m late feeding them, or if I don’t give them what he thinks is enough food. Otherwise he was respectful, unless you are a Crested Pigeon trying to eat what he deems as his food, and then you will get a beak in your bum that will likely pull out a feather or three. Gaz has perfected the ‘fence straddle’ position to inspect the local service and make sure it is up to standard. We had a sort of a tolerance for each other for the past year or so. He tolerates the hand that feeds him—up to a point, and I tolerate him because he’s a Galah.

One morning a couple of weeks ago after the wet week of rain we had, I decided to cut back on the amount and frequency of food I was giving to the native Crested Pigeons. They are very sweet and come and go without bother, though they do hang about if I’m late feeding them, and they poop a lot on our patio steps. This causes me work to clean off the poop and since we are downsizing I really could do without the extra work. Also, looking ahead, only four months now, we will be leaving. The new owners will not be interested in feeding pigeons and cleaning poop. They have three young children and a dog to feed as it is.

Knowing there is plenty of food around for the animals since the rain, and temperatures have cooled, I decided to wean them off the seed. I cleaned the step one more time and the next morning only put out half the amount of seed. Well… Gaz was not happy. He demanded more. I resisted his very vocal objections, but noticed from my desk here in the office, it became a sort of crazed scream. Then finally it stopped.

A couple of hours later I went out to see if I needed to clean the steps again and this is what I saw.

There was no doubt in my mind who had created this hole. A crazed Gaz. Galahs have a reputation of being very destructive at times, but I’ve never heard of one attacking the wall of a house.

A few days later I heard him sitting in the tree and making demands once again. A while after he stopped I went to check he had not removed the entire corner of the house, but thankfully, it was the same as the week before.

There has been a quiet, singular ‘watch pigeon’ most mornings, just in case some food magically appears or more likely the inhabitants (me) can be shamed into feeding again.

I noticed a little area amongst the native bushes on our place where the pigeons occasionally enjoy the shade. It is not visible from the treetops where the Galahs sit and observe. So I have a little dish there, and twice a week I leave a small amount of seed to finish the box before I stop altogether. Hopefully the Galah will not see the pigeons eating. When I put the small amount of seed there, I do it later in the day, too, when they don’t tend to be around. I want the pigeons here because they keep the less desirable birds from taking over the area. Right now the crows are trying to take over the neighbourhood and they ‘swoop’ people, namely ME! And I’m keen to keep them in check.

This morning I resurrected my occasionally necessary skill set of patching the rammed earth walls of our house. This is another reason I will be glad to move. Believe me, if I could find someone to do it, I’d pay them, but such is the change and ‘progress’ of things here, trades people who will do small jobs are hard to find.

Bad news Gaz, for all of us.