who’s in charge…

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We humans like to plan and execute our lives specifically if possible. But every now and then Life wants us to know who is really in charge. And it ainโ€™t us.

The force that created this beauty is hard to deny, even when it is inconvenient. This photo is from my first walk outside after returning home from foot surgery in Adelaide.

In early April, the day before we were to fly to Adelaide for my foot surgery, Donโ€™s flight from Melbourne was cancelled and he couldnโ€™t get back in time to go with me. Six months previously, way back in November, he woke up one morning, virtually blind in his left eye. He was in Melbourne and had a 10 day working trip ahead of him before he could get home to have his eyes checked. How he maintained his โ€˜coolโ€™ I have no idea because the minute he was back home he was diagnosed and treated for Wet Macular Degeneration, an affliction that will certainly blind a person who is not treated. I was still recovering from a very nasty flu virus (even though Iโ€™d had the seasonal vaccine earlier) and was only barely coping on my own at home, and hoping to be well enough to fly to Adelaide for Christmas with our daughter. Two weeks prior to that, weโ€™d had a micro burst storm in Alice that did massive amounts of damage in several suburbs. Seven months later we were still awaiting insurance repairs. I mention this because by the end of this post you will see this was one of many moving parts in our life these last months.

So, on the day we were to fly out for my surgery in Adelaide, Don had an appointment to have another in the series of eye injections to treat the Wet Macular Degeneration. Qantas cancelled his flight and he would not make it back in time for us to fly together to Adelaide as well as receive his treatment. We frantically rearranged his appointment with the clinic who was very short of staff to answer phones. This eventually meant I had to drive to the clinic and explain to them in person our situation. They know us both and were very helpful.

Well wishers on the morning of my 70th.

We had worked out that I would drive to the airport and leave our car in the parking lot, so that when Don flew in he could drive home for the night, have his injection the next day, fly to Adelaide later that day, and meanwhile I would fly ahead to Adelaide as planned and check into the hotel. Phew. Are you keeping up? Honestly, if I had known this was the start of a string of months like thisโ€ฆwell, letโ€™s just say Iโ€™m glad I didnโ€™t know.

On that same day his flight was cancelled, as we exchanged hugs and the car at the airport, Don told me he had discovered results of the routine PSA test heโ€™d had for prostate cancer was very high. It was a shock to us both as he has no other symptoms, family history or test results that would indicate any problems. But thatโ€™s the way prostate cancer works.

He was able to get an appointment with our GP the next morning who gave him paperwork to have a second PSA test done, just to double check. Once in Adelaide we discovered there was a lab very near our daughterโ€™s house. He walked and had the test done there. The results were the sameโ€ฆ21โ€”anything above 3 is suspect. Not good. But PSA tests are notoriously unreliable for telling the whole story. More tests needed to happen. Don had an appointment to see a Urologist who then wanted him to have an MRI. We stayed on in Adelaide a few extra days to get that done because the waitlist here in Alice was about three or four weeks away. We were pushing our departure date of 14 June for an overseas trip to the US and UK, so we needed to keep things moving.

The Urologist felt certain he would need to do a biopsy and went ahead and scheduled one for five days after we had gotten home to Alice from nearly a month in Adelaide. The doctorโ€™s experience was correct. The MRI showed a lump necessitating a subsequent biopsy for which Don had to return to Adelaide. It showed a stage 3 cancer in the prostate. We returned to Adelaide this week for Don to have a PET scan and see the specialist again. The doctor is fairly certain it will be treatable with hormones and radiation, which might knock Don around a bit. So I am finishing this post off from Adelaideโ€ฆagain. One wonders if we will soon have to declare a change of address.

Meanwhile, before leaving Alice, we celebrated my 70th trip around the sun on a beautiful, crisp winter-like day.

While Iโ€™m progressing well regarding the foot surgery, Iโ€™m no flash in the pan yet. On our second night here I fell over Leni-the-snuggle-dog’s access ramp. I had my arm full of clothes and didn’t see it. Lucky to be only bruised. We are the walking wounded, but no longer hobbling toward that overseas departure date. We cancelled the trip nearly a week ago. The doctor told Don not to cancel our plans, so we hadnโ€™t. However, when the insurance company finally resurfaced, saying they would like to start the repairs from the November storm almost immediately, the pressures of everything were tipped into negative balance. Life need no longer show us who is in charge for a while. Weโ€™ll go where the flow seems to direct us…as best we can.

12 responses to “who’s in charge…”

  1. If you were waiting for a sign, the insurance repairs confirmed what you suggested you’d suspected. Hopefully the tunnel continues to deliver some bright spots of wellbeing before you actually get the clear view at the end of it, which surely will be sometime this year. If it’s of any reassurance, my uncle who’s in his mid 80’s and has serious emphysema which complicates everything last year went through a similar prostate diagnosis, hormone & radiation treatment scenario to what Don is experiencing and he is now fine, and also is having injections for MD which he is coping with. His wife, my aunt has had bunions treated similarly to your foot surgery, among other things… she’s in her mid 70’s. When we get together and chat about their challenges and ours, the closing chorus is “diagnosis D.O.B.”

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    1. Thanks Dale. You know, we canceled the trip on Tuesday evening and first thing Wednesday morning the insurance company rang and two hours later were at the door. If that wasn’t a sign we had made the right move, I don’t know what it would be! We have experience with prostate cancer as my father had it. He had stage 4 and that was 34 years ago. He died 21 years later with no sign of cancer since 5 years after his treatment. Along with my experience of breast cancer 12 years ago, we have a decent amount of knowledge and experience to rely on, as well as the advancement of treatment and experts to guide us. All of this is no guarantee of outcome, but it gives us some measure of calm and hope. xx

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  2. Bst of luck and huge Hugs to you both.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much David. I know you have faced many challenges too, all the best to you.

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  3. Now is the time to be extra kind to yourselves. This is just a rough patch you are navigating your way through, and you will get through it! I think you are both amazing in facing it all with such courage!

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    1. Thank you Donna. I’ve learned at least some of my positivity from you! We do believe we will come through this. Every journey changes us a little (or a lot) so we step forward carefully and consciously with hope. xx

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  4. I am exhausted just reading this. Living it must leave you feeling like you are going the rounds with Mike Tyson….get yourself up only to be whacked by something else. Needing to travel to Adelaide adds complications too. I admire your strength through all of this.
    So best wishes to you and Don. I am sorry you had to cancel the trip. It will be something to look forward to when everything around you settles. ~many hugs~

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    1. Thank you Anne. I know you and many others have also made it through many difficult challenges and it gives me inspiration to carry on. We will book another trip when we know how Don tolerates his treatment. He will either have to go to Darwin or back here to Adelaide for 6-8 weeks for the radiotherapy so that will be another thing to figure out. There are also good things happening for us and we are trying to keep a balanced outlook. Life is always in a state of flux.

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  5. Have read this more than once. Lots of thoughts and feelings and hopes . . . but somehow a lack of words which would help . . . ! But, honest injun, have everything crossed . . . this too will pass . . . day by day . . . . bestest . . .

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    1. Thank you Eha. I too believe this will pass and we will find a new normal. xx

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  6. My gosh, so sorry for the neverending challenges for you and Don. When it rains it pours, right? But I think you’re wise to just go with the flow for a while until things are resolved and settle down so you can really enjoy a nice trip together. Deep breaths….

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    1. Thanks Kim. Yes, deep breaths and gratitude as there are still nice things happening for us which I will write about in future. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ

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โ— About Me

Iโ€™m Ardys, the creator and author behind this blog. I’ve found great joy in the unexpected and tiny things in life, as well as some big ones…and in between is where I’ve learned my lessons. I like to write, take photos and paint and I hope it resonates with you.