It’s been a busy few weeks since I last checked in with you, promising to report more on my revived creative journey. In those weeks our 18 year old car needed some repair. Covid conditions of shipping to remote places like ours proved to make that a protracted process. It was our only car so we hired a rental for a couple of weeks. When it looked like that wasn’t going to be enough, we quickly agreed, we deserved a new car. With the money we saved from the lack of travel over the last year, happily, we could afford it. And as it turns out, so can a lot of other people. The car dealer says they are selling cars as fast as they can get them into town! It’s interesting to see what areas of the economy are leaping ahead, while others languish behind.
Fortunately, our modest needs were only for a town car that was small enough to fit into most of the parking spaces at the grocery and other places we frequent. But after sitting in the smallest car we thought we would buy, the salesman said he had one that was a step up, both in comfort and size if we wanted to sit in it for comparison—a tried and true sales tactic, I’m certain. This salesman was very laid back and applied no pressure whatever, but he didn’t have to. The minute I sat in the driver’s seat of the Corolla it was evident the comfort and amenities were better. Since we are of an age which means it may possibly be our last automotive purchase while we are able to drive, we decided to treat ourselves.
Let me digress a bit. The aforementioned 18 year old Barina (Holden/General Motors) was purchased new when our daughter was testing to get a driving license. The agreement was that we would purchase it, in all its spearmint-metallic-green-glory, and that when she decided to purchase a car, she could buy it from us, knowing she would have a car that was looked after and that she could afford. There were a few errors in judgement on her part (and an obvious one in ours!) that meant the car had a couple of dings in it, which we had deemed a fools errand to repair, given that many people will open their doors and not care if they dent the car next to them. So the dings stayed.
Then one night our daughter drove the car to a party. Alice can be a rough ole town at times. Lately we have been all too aware of it as our house, and many others, have had attempted break-ins. On this particular night about 15 years ago, a young woman set her sites on revenge when she thought Allison was flirting with her ex-boyfriend. Seeing Allison get out of the mint green chariot was all the inspiration she needed. Allison returned to the car after only dropping off a friend and visiting for few minutes to discover the rear windscreen wiper wobbling at a very odd angle, the radio antennae broken off and the word ‘slut’ keyed into the relatively new paint. We knew who it was because as most criminals do, she had to brag about her handiwork to someone, and that someone was friends with one of Allison’s friends and by the next morning it had gotten back to us. But we couldn’t prove it. So we paid for the antennae and the windscreen wiper to be replaced but we were loath to repair the paintwork, for obvious reasons. Allison’s detractor was still in town and she had friends.
When Allison decided to buy a car, it was not the dinged up Barina she longed for, but a flashy, used silver Honda, one of the early hybrid cars. Right thinking, but wrong car and wrong time of her life to make that expensive decision. Live and learn, right? We have generally let her make these decisions on her own with some guidance but knowing whatever we tell her she must do, she would do the opposite back then.
So, for the ensuing 15 years we have driven the small mint green car, emblazoned with ‘Slut’ on the side. Fortunately you could only read the word when the car was very clean. Living in Alice Springs, a car is rarely that clean. Dust storms see to that. I have always felt it was good penance, for what I wasn’t sure, to have to drive the slutmobile around town for all to see. No one would claim I was living beyond my means, nor that I had exquisite taste, and I never had to worry about someone stealing it or parking it where someone would ding the paint! The years caused the paint to chalk and peel and the poor little thing looked like it was peeling from a bad case of sunburn. But when we bought the Corolla, they actually paid us $1000 for the 18 year old Barina, that was clean on the inside, generally in good driving condition and had only 54,000 kilometres on the clock! It will have a new life with someone else and served us well.
My deepest anxieties have been realised, however, learning to drive a brand new car with all the advances that the automotive industry has made in the last 18 years, not to mention that it is about six inches wider and about 20 inches longer than the old car. It really adds a layer of anxiety to my days that I could do without.
Take the day recently, when I went to the grocery store…
In my relatively calm and controlled life there is not much that scares me more than a big Huntsman spider in the house or a deadly Eastern Brown snake in the house both which I have experienced…unless it is either species in the CAR! That morning as I pulled into the parking space (having backed in and was so proud of myself) I looked toward the passenger window and crawling down the outside of the window was a large huntsman spider the size of the palm of my hand. I tried to get out of the car quickly so that the spider couldn’t crawl across the car and get inside. They do bite but are not aggressive or terribly poisonous but I didn’t fancy testing that bit of scientific knowledge. And the shock of having one drop down from the roof of the car into one’s lap, could easily cause an accident.
I did my shopping and stopped at the pharmacy and by the time I returned to the car I’d forgotten about the spider. After putting things in the boot I came around to the driver’s door and there was that blinking spider again! Shivers. The only thing I had to swipe at it was my grocery list so I swiped—trying to get it off the car. But they JUMP. So it jumped back to the windscreen and across to the other side of the car again. I walked around and found it, cleverly trying to flatten itself out so as not to be seen. I took one last careful aim and swiped at it and it disappeared.The other worst outcome. Where had it gone? I quickly tried to locate it and thank goodness it was on the ground out in front of the car a couple of feet. I quickly got into the car and closed the door. Because I had backed into the space I pulled out fairly quickly and left Mr Spidee behind.
Clearly my days of penance are not over.
Updating you about my continuing creative efforts will wait for another day. Have a great week.
Oh Ardys, you have given me a whole lot of laughs I hadn’t realised quite how much I needed ♡ I love the backbone that’s evident in persisting to drive a car so emblazoned but more the reasoning the graffiti is only visible on a newly clean car, not so common in your neck of the desert. More, I admire despite everything -in this age of consumerism- you’ve hung onto any vehicle for this long. You fit well with my family, fans both of Toyota’s and hanging onto cars as long as possible. My BMW [a renegade choice] I bought in 2000 when it was 4 years old. Welshy’s 4WD has been with us over a decade… a record for him. My younger sister just retired her secondhand ‘Rolla after about 12 years, and the elder still has Harris the Yaris after only slightly shorter period with no plans otherwise.
Lastly, I have had the experience of a Huntsman inside the car… imagine driving downhill through a series of steep curves in an old mustard coloured VW as its hairy legs appear around the driver’s visor! All was well, it was as happy to see me as I was it, so it retreated… but remained in the car unless it removed itself after a while or someone that wasn’t me did.
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😉 Thanks Dale, I’m so glad you got some chuckles from this. It almost wrote itself, and every word is true. The vehicle we drove before the Barina was 15 years old, ten of which we had owned it, and the vehicle before that was Don’s Toyota Ute, 20 years old when we sold it to buy the station wagon. But two of my cars before marriage were both Toyotas, having bought them used from my parents. Honestly, that Huntsman was nearly my worst nightmare. Thank god it wasn’t in the car or I would know for sure I’d done something horrible and the penance wasn’t working at all!!
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What a wonderful read on a Sunday morning. I smiled and laughed through the read as I’ve experienced a similar auto event with my son many moons ago. The difference was that it was a farm truck we purchased that was to be his when he turned 18. That time came and as he’d been saving his money, he opted for a Ford Probe instead. In the end, he admits the truck would have been a wiser choice. As for your creativity, this read was just that.
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Oh, Ron, it’s nice to know we aren’t the only gullible parents. It was a little bit funny, in an evil sort of way, whenever our daughter has come home to visit for the last 10 years, she had to drive that car around because it was the only one we had. It is sweet music to hear kids say that you were right and they were wrong…though I’m sure you and I have never had to do that!
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Well Ardyz . . . I am the third to admit to laughter with tears in my eyes awhile back . . . on a day I so needed the laughs ! Had anyone asked me to guess what car you might be driving I can assure you the absolutely delightful slutmobile would not have entered my mind . . . I loved every sentence read ! And you will be fast friends with the Corolla ! I did not get my licence till age 30 !! Made the huge mistake in letting my husband-to-be try teach me nearly a decade before – well, the curvy roads of the National {ark, a brand new Porsche with more gears than I could count and a nervous me being taught ‘racing driver’ ways led to dear R telling everyone I was not suited to the activity. When the kids went to school I got a real ex-racing car driver from a school to teach – shock-horror I managed to get the paper in three easy lessons much to dear R’s disgust . . . and got a Toyota, a Corona new in those days . . . and I loved it to bits carrying non-stop full loads to school and Brownies and ballet and horse riding and . . . I was to be provided with much bigger vehicles later at work, but have never forgotten the pal I was to have for many years . . . Oh . . . huntsman spiders, uhuh, I remember a few occasions . . . for me there was that 4-5 metre carpet python living on land next door in the Northern Rivers that led to . . .
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Thank you Eha, so glad to give everyone a laugh, and myself too, if I’m honest. I had fun writing this one. I’m sure eventually I’ll feel comfortable driving the Corolla because I drove a standard station wagon before the Barina and it was much harder to drive. It’s the technology on this one that is a bit overwhelming. Fortunately my husband has to drive rentals all the time and he’s giving me tutorials as we go along. I drove him to the airport in the rain today and when I got home I took out the chamois and wiped the dear little Corolla down. Roll your eyes loudly now. xx
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What a fun story, and to think I actually got to ride in the infamous “Slutmobile” … minus the spider😳 while in Alice…. This piece started my day with a smile…thank you for sharing!
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What a hilarious read with this morning’s coffee. You would be the last person I’d suspect to drive a slutmobile around!! This makes for some of your greatest storytelling, Ardys. Thank you for sharing about this comedic experience. I love that you found the benefits of that little gem of a car. Life is good isn’t it? Especially when we end up with a good realization or lesson.
Ugh, spiders and snakes are never a good surprise for me either. You told that aspect of the story rather well, and I had a pretty good picture in my head of your peril!! Ha ha! You made my day, Ardys. Thanks for a good laugh!
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Really great story, Ardys! I looked up pictures of that spider and OMG I can see how you wouldn’t want that thing mucking about while you’re driving.
Interesting photo of your new car wrapped up like a gift — nice gimmick for the car dealership, and I bet it does add some excitement to the purchase. Congrats on the new wheels!
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I’m new to your blog, this post was so funny, loved it as well as the way you write – looking forward to all the ‘old’ posts!! Penny
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Welcome Penny. I hope some of the older posts are to your liking as well. Hopefully will have a new one ready soon.
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