Tag Archives: life’s questions

a pause for thought…

07 Wednesday Sep 2016

Posted by in Life, People

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There are many things in the world, which I do not understand. And the older I get, the more I realise there are more things that I don’t understand, than that I do understand. And yet, I know I am wiser than ever before in my life.

It is not normal for me to be able to photograph things I don’t understand, so when it happened twice in one week, it gave me pause for thought, and that is why I share it with you.

One morning as I walked I came to the road that I cross. There in the exact middle of the road was a piece of litter. Rubbish. Refuse. Sunlight fell across it, as if to highlight the faux pas. Since I am a light chaser, and there was not a car in sight, it was a shot I could not resist. I actually believe we can highlight inequities more effectively by using beauty than by raging.

the beauty of ungliness

the beauty of ugliness

Litter is possibly number one on my list of things I don’t understand. I know the excuses for it, but none of them are valid reasons, in my experience. The very least we can do to help the earth and to be thoughtful of our environment is take our rubbish with us or deposit it carefully.

The second event happened only a few days after the first one, but in a completely different place, Adelaide in South Australia. We were visiting our daughter and while she was at work and my husband was at the reference library, I was doing shopping errands in the city. As I walked down the Mall I saw a woman bend to give a man, who was begging, an apple. He accepted it and seemed to put it in his pocket.

A short while later I was walking passed the spot again, and saw this…

misunderstood apple

misunderstood apple

The apple. At the time, when I saw the man, something about him had struck me as slightly ‘not quite right’. His beard was a little too well trimmed, his clothes a little bit too clean and tidy. And yet, he was clearly begging. And clearly he was not begging for food. I suppose it is possible he can’t eat apples. I can’t eat raw apples, so I can allow that may be possible. Perhaps my assessment of his appearance was judgemental, thinking that homeless people are all a bit scruffy looking. Perhaps he was being thoughtful and leaving the apple for someone who needed it worse.

Later that same morning I was approached by an elderly man asking for money. Not food. Money. The experience with the first man made me wary of the second one. Not that I usually contribute to street beggars, but it made me wonder. If I gave him money, would he use it for alcohol or drugs or food? Was I being compassionate by refusing—or by donating? How does one know what to do? Soon after, as I passed a mobile coffee and cafe vendor who I believe to be reputable in helping to feed the homeless, I made my contribution to him. Perhaps that was the right thing, perhaps not. How does one know? I have come to believe that it is the intention with which we do these things that matters. Is there compassion and love behind the act?

These are two very different events, most of us have seen many times in our lives. We are confronted with decisions and therefor, actions, or not. After 63 years on this earth, I wish I had gotten beyond my misunderstanding of such commonplace things. But I have not. Share your thoughts with me. Illuminate me.

Do it.

01 Saturday Sep 2012

Posted by in Creativity, Inspiration, Life

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The other day I was on a mission to try and save the painting I was working on.  It was a painful struggle all day.  I even began questioning why I was painting at all.  I wasn’t particularly enjoying myself, the results were not satisfying, I would never be a great artist, why, why, why?  But if nothing else I’ve learned two things in life, asking questions leads to discovery, and to become better at something you need to do it.

 The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize  -Robert Hughes

The very recently deceased Robert Hughes was someone I admired, not only because he was able to see things uniquely and deeply, but because he called a spade a bloody shovel, which at times got him into controversy.  He was not a perfect man and was the first to admit it, but he enlightened us and made us think, and he really, really enjoyed and connected with his life.

So what if you don’t want to be recipient of the consolation prize?  What then?  If you overcome the self doubt and continue to work… why?

Why?

I remembered a book I bought last year about an artist named Vuillard.  Something drew me to his work, what was it?  There was one of those pesky questions again.  But I had the feeling if I could answer that it would be helpful.  For a while I thumbed through, looking for what, I didn’t know.  And then it struck me, it was the paint itself that was the problem with my own work.  Recently I had seen a documentary that discussed a belief held by many artists, the paint itself speaks, just as the subject matter or composition does.  I needed to apply paint that would compliment the composition, and the paint itself needed to speak clearly.  I had an inkling of how it needed to work, but not quite the vision.  And then I saw it, the painting that spoke to me.  I hustled back into the studio in the late afternoon and rubbed away the earlier day’s work, and started applying the paint with revised awareness.  Too tired to enjoy finishing the painting that day, I had things on track for the next session.  I’ve discovered that I enjoy savouring a new idea for execution until I am rested and fresh, so I left it for another time.

It was a happy evening, feeling I had broken through yet another small challenge and still, I had no idea why it was important to me to keep going.  I suppose there is always that quiet little hope that one will create a small gem!!

A terrible night’s sleep followed.  But the exciting challenge that lay before me was enough to get me out of bed next morning with some enthusiasm.  I heated my little moka pot of coffee and savoured the aroma, as I always do.  “Wake up and smell the coffee!” a teacher friend of mine used to say.

Steaming cup beside me at the computer, I sat down to check email and there, the Universe spoke to me through one…

“To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow.  So do it.’  -Kurt Vonnegut

Who am I to argue with Vonnegut?  Rhetorical question… thank you.