We have been in the USA visiting and, hopefully, helping my Mother and immediate family for the last two and a half weeks. Our intentions were good, but our execution of the plan left a little to be desired. We had booked the trip 10 months ago when Qantas was having a good sale on Business class seats to the USA (two for 1!!). And at that time we had just returned from a trip there and it seemed like two weeks would be long enough. Erroneous thinking on many levels. We are left wondering what led us to this decision, so that we don’t repeat it.
Our Qantas 737 plane to Sydney, named Retro Roo, painted with old style livery
Mum was good when we got there, but two of the last three days of our visit she was in hospital with an unexpected urinary tract infection. Did you know that this is a very common ailment in the elderly? The doctor who spoke to us was very nice and further informed us how this effects elderly people, and to some extent why. I thought I would share it since you may have someone in your family that is in a similar situation.
The doctor said that elderly patients, in general, have ‘less reserves’ in their system, so when this infection establishes itself it often appears that the affected person is confused and dizzy. He went on to explain why this happens. When a person has a UTI, they feel as if they need to relieve themselves more often than normal, thus dehydrating them slightly. This dehydration effects the blood pressure, so that when they stand, they are dizzy, and often fall. The dehydration also effects the brain function, and people can seem slightly more confused or less sharp than normal. If this is someone who already has some dementia, it can seem somewhat normal, since people have good days and bad days with that as well.
Members of Mum’s gardening group at the assisted living home.
In Mum’s case she had not really noticed the burning with the urination that is often the telltale symptom, and so she fell twice in three days while getting up in the night. We had spent all day with her both days, and she had not commented on symptoms, or seemed much out of the ordinary. In fact, we did not know about the first fall, until the second one happened. How this can happen in an assisted living place is a very long and involved story that has to do with patient consent and how the issue is reported etc. Regardless, it is just plain frustrating.
The second time Mum fell she was wearing her medical alert necklace, which has a motion detector on it. When it detects a fall, they try to contact the person. If the person is unresponsive, they send paramedics, which they did. Mum was unconscious so they took her to the hospital. They ran many tests and immediately established that she had the UTI and started antibiotics intravenously.
Through what can only be viewed as a snafu of ridiculous proportions (internet not working properly, phone not working, hotel not having us listed as registered guests, despite the fact we had been there for 10 nights already), no one was able to get word to us until we appeared at her apartment the following morning, to find her gone, but the dog there alone. The assisted living place was able to update us and that is when I learned of her fall three nights previously. None of the rest of the family even knew about that one, since she was not wearing the medical alert necklace that night (they are uncomfortable for sleeping and Mum had removed it)
Mum was very confused that day and the following day. It wasn’t helped by the fact that hospitals are lousy places to get any rest! We took her home on the second day, and after a night of sleep, and two days of antibiotics in her system, she was like a new person on the last day we saw her. We spent most of the day with her and then left for the airport to fly home to Australia.
Sometimes trips are good just to break you out of your normal routine
On the long haul flight coming home, heavy fog was predicted for Sydney, so our flight was diverted to Fiji for refuelling in case we had to fly around a bit before landing, or fly to a farther airport. So, 17 hours in the same seat on an airplane was a new record for us, and not one I care to challenge. The fog did not eventuate in Sydney, but farther up the coast.
Yesterday after we arrived home and went to the grocery, unpacked bags and made some dinner, I remarked “I’m sure I have some idea how Mum must feel when she is confused. My brain has the acuity of chocolate pudding.”
Mum is good and we are exchanging emails already. I am deliriously happy, having awakened in my own bed and now enjoying a really good cup of coffee. The brain is less pudding-y and more protoplasm-y this morning.
ardysez 
Ardys – truly sorry for your hard time – thought I would tell this from a personal viewpoint. I have been plagued by UTIs all my life, it beginning with ‘honeymoon cystitis’ in my early twenties. Have had a number of ops to change the position of the bladder outlet, been to hospital close to death from renal complications many a time. I am younger than your mother and not confused 🙂 ! For me it NEVER starts with the usual burning and frequency these days – the first you know is a high temperature and unexplained falls and simply feeling lousy . . . by now I am whisked into hospital and IV meds pronto! I am avoiding these episodes more and more: cranberry and probiotic tabs [esp the latter] help hugely. I DO drink about 2-3 litres of pure room temp water a day and am very particular about hygiene. Do not wear underwear at all in summer when at home. Never wear PJs . . .little things help a lot. And yes, UTIs are one of the most common ailments amongst older women: some doctors here keep susceptible patients on a’biotics all the time [hugely disagree with that! Oh, hope your Mom has not needed a catheter too often: that is a big ‘baddie’ . . . but do not ‘blame’ her for not noticing: there probably was nought to notice! All the best to all of you . . .
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Thank you, Eha, for sharing your personal struggles with UTI, very informative and good for the dialogue we need to have regarding health and ageing, particularly. Mum has been plagued with UTI’s all her life too! As far as I know, nothing as serious as yours, however. Thank you for adding your knowledge to this post, that is what I hoped when deciding to write about it. I was surprised the doctor said Mum was only slightly dehydrated as I had been trying to encourage her to drink more. The problem of incontinence plays into this aspect of things, too–people drink less because they worry they can’t get to the toilet in time etc. Mum is a (retired) nurse and she knows things but much of her knowledge is outdated, and also she has forgotten things. She would have known about the symptoms if she had been feeling them, so no, I don’t ‘blame’ her for that, and am glad you mentioned your experience being similar. Mum is 88 and still has a twinkle in her eye!
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Really feel for your Mum Ardys…hope she is heaps better now. Thanks for sharing her story…useful to file away in the back recesses!
Just at Dubai, about to fly to Hamburg for ICME Conference. It will be interesting to see the demeanor of Hamburg security people, in light of what has occurred in Munich.
I vividly remember the LAX staff being very on edge, as we prepared to fly back to Australia in 2005, as the London underground bombings had happened that morning.
Regards, Matt.
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Thanks so much Matt. I’ve just had an email from Mum and she is feeling much better, both physically and emotionally. I know what you mean about traveling after these violent events happen. We traveled to Italy two weeks after 9/11. It was kind of spooky. I remember the usual ‘airport buzz’ was quite diminished, and there was a pronounced military and security presence. Allison is just outside of Brussels at the moment and is heading for Greece, Croatia and then Berlin, Germany over the next three weeks. I asked her to please have some kind of contact with us every couple of days so we would know where she was. She said the security at the Tomorrowland music festival is very tight, and there is a very strong Military and police presence in Brussels, as you would expect. Safe travels, Matt.
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A useful post for all of us with elderly mothers. Thank you. Thankfully, my mother is fit and healthy but you just never know when something is going to knock an elderly person sideways and I now feel a little more informed and hopefully can be a little more understanding if anything like this should happen.
Glad your mother is feeling better and that you’ve recovered from your flight. We have to endure 24 hours of flying when we visit my sister in Australia, which means we don’t visit as often as I’d like.
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Yes, the entire flight was about 23 hours, but with elapsed time in airports, longer, and we went straight through this time. I told my husband today that we might need to rethink that for next trip. It really is quite an ordeal to put one’s body through. Glad you thought the post might be useful, but I’m hoping your Mum continues her good health and you never need it!! Thanks Anne.
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Interesting comments about UTIs…I remember getting cystitis in my early 20s, similar to Eha, but fortunately have not had a recurrence. If I do get a bit of burning, I drink more, and cranberry juice and acidophilus are great cures. Interesting that it doesn’t manifest in that way for the elderly, and that such a simple thing can have such a profound effect. Don’t you love that blissful feeling of loving your home (and your own bed!)
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Yes, the UTI has always been a problem for my mother. Fortunately it is one thing I did not inherit from her! I really do love the way travel makes me appreciate my own home more. It is the second day of my life back at home again and there is bread proving in the kitchen and happy little tasks to do all day long. Thank you Sara. x
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I will comment further in another post but want to say quickly I am glad you are home and was able to leave your mother in a fairly upbeat fashion. Your chocolate pudding state will no doubt be with you for a couple of days. xo
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Pudding-y state is rapidly diminishing. It always goes away much faster when flying east to west, so for us that is home on this trip. I only had two decent nights of sleep out of 15 in Ohio!! xx
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Mom’s doctor explained a few years ago ( a female doctor, not that they know more, just maybe can relate a bit better on these issues) that the female anatomy is such that “matter”/bacteria really has a very easy journey from the source to the urinary tract and into the bloodstream. At some points there is only a very thin membrane. She said it is surprising that more women don’t have uti issues.
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That is interesting to add to this conversation. It is just so helpful when we can share these things because most of us wouldn’t know, except for personal experience with ourselves or a loved one. xx
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Hindsight comes into play in travel planning ranging from good idea at the time to if only we’d known we could’ve… plus some synchronicity, fate and luck.
My MiL has had similar age related issues with UTI’s and your post has been very useful as I now wonder how much it has to do with her other age related vagueness issues, which manifest in lack of attention to important things including medical issues such as UTI symptoms. Sigh.
For all of us it means paying more attention to our own health and nearest & dearest as we age. Of them I’ve learned to ask more questions until I get an answer that feels right… sometimes it can take weeks.
Both our trips this year Dad has ended up in hospital… currently with pneumonia. He is trying to sort out his health issues… has even finally given up alcohol but it’s a long road back to good health for him. And his GP’s first option seems to be yet another prescription. So I’m pleased Dad takes himself off to hospital when thnings don’t feel right. Unlike MiL.
For myself I’m realising my body isn’t 30 or even 40 anymore but I think our generations are fortunate in that information is more readily available. We’re not reliant only on health workers whose experience and knowledge may simple be system oriented.
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Thank you for your additional insights and comments on this very complex topic, Dale. I am currently re-reading Being Mortal, which coincidentally is coinciding with my recent experience with Mum. There is so much to take into consideration when caring for someone else, and especially when they have some dementia. We are trying to be pro-active but life is unpredictable and there is only so much we can do, both for ourselves, and especially others. I hope your Dad recovers from the pneumonia. Do you and he know that there is a pneumonia immunisation he can get? Don got it and I’m waiting until 65 to get it, based on the recommendation of my GP. Travel safely. xx
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Thank you Ardys, I’m calling Dad later so I’ll mention the pneumonia immunisation.
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Sorry to be so late in reading this. I am glad you are home and that things are better for your Mum. I did not know about UTI’s in the elderly and will be passing the information on to my siblings and my mom. This sounds exactly like what has been happening with Mom! Perhaps this better understanding of what might be happening can help us to assist her in getting appropriate treatment and continue to live in her own home. Thank you for explaining this so well, Ardys.
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I hope it helps Lori. There are many reasons for elderly people falling, this is just one of them. I’m reading a book called ‘Being Mortal’ that is very good and interesting and helpful toward understanding what it is like getting older and what some of the options might be for living a better quality life. xx
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I remember Mr T;s mother having an undetected UTI when she was in her late eighties- she completely lost her marbles, walked about in the nude, didn’t recognise anyone at all, and had to be admitted to hospital for treatment where she became even more confused. It was so sad to see her like this, such an intelligent woman who was so well read and caring. She did come good and recovered her sanity but after that, she was never quite the same and went to live in a ‘place’ as we call it. Since then, I have been very alert to this in older women, and the dreadful effect it can have on the brain.
I am so pleased your mother came good too. And as for that long flight, I hope you recovered- it’s hard on the body and bones for sure.
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Isn’t this something, that so many of us have been touched by this situation but it seems no one ever talks about it until after the fact? Mum was better but fell again yesterday and I fear this is going to be the beginning of the end, as it often happens this way. She is sad and of course we all are too, but there is little to be done. Thank you for your contribution to this discussion, Francesca. Despite my best efforts, my body is convinced it only needs 5 hours of sleep a night at the moment.😩
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I know that feeling. I was up at 5, which is why I am pumping posts. But then, I go to bed early and am getting plenty of sleep in between eating and walking all day. Five hours is plenty if they are deep hours.
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Yes, at the moment five deep hours is enough, as I rest, but don’t sleep, for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Am waking at 3.30am tho!! I get up and turn on the heater, go back to bed and rest for another hour and then get up to a relatively warm house. Our overnight temps have been 1 and 2 this week, but the days are glorious and sunny and upper teens to 25 today 🙂
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