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“Fill your bowl to the brimand it will spillKeep sharpening your knifeand it will blunt.Chase after money and securityand your heart will never unclenchCare about people’s approvaland you will be their prisoner.Do your work, then step backthe only path to serenity.”~Lao Tzu
One of my recent projects has been a labour of love for our daughter. A genealogy scrapbook. As with most tasks, paying attention yields a few lessons along the way.
As you know, I have always been a snapper of photos. My own photos fill albums. Inherited photos fill a file drawer. I now realise the photos I’ve taken for myself are mostly a form of visual diary. This is me, where I went, who accompanied me and, God help me, what hairstyle I was sporting at the time!! Probably interesting to no one but me!
But the inherited photos were more. They worried me. It became obvious it would be my job to assemble this branch of our families’ histories in some form that would help our daughter understand from whom, and where, she had come. Since we have only one offspring, and both of all our families are in the USA, she will likely be the only surviving disseminator of the family history in Australia.
What a responsibility… for us both.
We have travelled with her as many times as possible over the years; driving her all over to see her relatives. They cover a fairly wide swath, from Wyoming and Illinois to Ohio, Virginia and Florida. We are a mobile lot! But of course, there were a couple of generations she never met. Fortunately, all of her Grandparents lived long enough for her to know, at least a little. (an earlier post about the Great Grandmother— see photo above—she didn’t know, which includes the words to the poem depicted above)
You can see the dilemma… how to put together the knowledge in my head, the photos in the file, give her a sense of connection, and not overwhelm her.
Gee, that sounds easy.
Here were the parameters on which I settled:
- there would be ONE, 20 page (10 two sided pages) album. No more.
- the objective would be to show the primary lineage, and key relationships, not all the distant relatives
- whenever possible I would insert a photo of her with the person(s)
- whenever possible I would show her at a similar age of key persons in a previous generation photo
- dates and names would accompany photos making future identifications possible
Here is what I realised while working on the album:
- too much information is still too much
- there are deep emotions attached to a project like this
- it requires love and lots of time to do this (about 60 hours, I estimate)
- no matter what I put together, it is only MY view. Others may (will probably) be critical, but the job is open for them to do their OWN version.
- when the album was finished I felt massively relieved.
She has not seen the album, except online in a photo stream I set up for her. I will hand carry it when we go to Adelaide to see her in a few months. She will love it, but I also know that she has many other photo albums, and another scrapbook and… enough is enough.
The time was right. My work is done; I can now stand back. Serenity reigns.
~Ardys
PS. ‘Do you work, then step back’—then step forward for something else… I prepared this to post while we are away starting end of next week, but our daughter has had an unfortunate health event (piriformis syndrome) that necessitates my going to Adelaide to help with her recovery before traveling. This is a long anticipated family holiday back to the US, so we want to be well enough to enjoy it. It is likely you will not hear much from me for a month, but I will be collecting new things to share with you. Keep well. And yes, the album is traveling with me to Adelaide! xx
EllaDee said:
From time to time I undertake similar projects, and bear in mind the need for such parameters. I always remind myself that if in review I decide it could be better (hasn’t happened yet, I’m a believer in what is done is good enough) I have the fallback of re-doing it. Not much is carved in stone.
I love the scrapbook you have created. It’s a special keepsake, and I think you have beautifully accomplished what you set out to do.
Wishing your daughter all the best for recovery, and wishing you safe and happy travels 🙂
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ardysez said:
Thank you EllaDee. I totally agree with your assessment that not much is carved in stone…and even stone carving can be altered. 🙂
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Francesca said:
An enormous project : I love the parameters you set for yourself! And I particularly enjoyed reading the LaoTsu poem as prefaced, my favourite poet and, if I had an religious leanings at all, they would beTaoist.
You have enough on your plate Ardys. Best wishes to your daughter and safe travelling.
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ardysez said:
Your comment about having enough on my plate makes me smile, Francesca. I’m never at a loss for something to do! I’m sure people who don’t know me very well wonder what I do with my time because I’m not very social except with blogs. And yet, I am never wanting for company or for something to do… maybe Taoism would have been a good choice for me as well! x
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Sarah Longes - Mirador Design said:
That was quite a project Ardys! Looks like you did a fantastic job too. I’m sure your daughter will love it and I do hope she recovers soon!
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ardysez said:
Thank you so much Sarah.
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davidprosser said:
Safe journey. I hope your beloved daughter is OK. Though she may have other albums, other scrapbooks I think this one will be treasured for the eclectic mix of photographs so lovingly linked . It looks fantastic. My daughter did a scrap book in a form of This is Your Life for my 60th and though I have been a photo hoarder for years, this means the world to me.
xxx Massive Hugs to you xxx
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ardysez said:
Yes, there does seem to be an added layer of meaning and emotion to a collection of photos put together in this way. Thank you for your good wishes, David.
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Littlesundog said:
What a remarkable journey with this album. The thought of such a project is overwhelming to me. I sincerely hope that your daughter can find some relief from her condition. I will look forward to your return. 🙂
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ardysez said:
Thanks so much Lori.
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ladyredspecs said:
What a fabulous gift for your daughter, and future generations. Enjoy your break Ardys
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ardysez said:
Thank you Sandra.
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My Kitchen Witch said:
So much work and love poured into this beautiful project. I only wish I had the creativity and energy to tackle our boxes of family photos. I’m sure your daughter will treasure this album! Wishing you a safe journey and hope for a speedy recovery for your daughter.
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ardysez said:
It really was a daunting project, so I can relate to your hesitation to tackle it! Setting the parameters was key to being able to manage it, though. Our daughter was very relieved to see me, as I was her. Thanks so much Debi, for the good wishes.
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StillValerie said:
May you all be well to enjoy your travels.
Peace and love,
V
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ardysez said:
So sweet Valerie, thank you. xx
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Dale Robards said:
You were so smart to set the parameters you did, which allowed you to dig deep for meaningful photos and connections. Reading your post was such a poignant moment because I have virtually no family beyond myself and my husband. Both only children; no children of our own; parents, etc. all gone. It is wonderful to hear the love in your post.
Safe travels to you, and all the best to your daughter for a quick recovery.
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ardysez said:
Thank you so much Dale. I arrived at her home last evening and was very glad I came. It is sometimes easier to see when others need us, than it is to see in ourselves that we need help. We spent time over the scrapbook and it was lovely!
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lambsearsandhoney said:
Oh wow, this looks gorgeous. Now I feel guilty about all the photos I have just languishing in boxes ….
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ardysez said:
I have to admit I’m greatly relieved, having now done this. Both generations on either side of me are most appreciative, too, which is really nice.
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Bill said:
“Do your work, then step back….”
That’s a wonderful quote. Thanks for sharing it!
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tableofcolors said:
What a true treasure of a gift you have made your daughter. I find it so fascinating to learn about family heritage and I have realized that the more I learn, the more I understand why I am the way I am 🙂
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ardysez said:
You are so right, Laila, it is an amazing and ever surprising part of being human.
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