At the moment I am resisting everything that tells me I must do. The stack of papers on my kitchen bench that indicates I must do some filing, the leaves outside the front door that show me I must do some sweeping, the plants in the garden that look at me to re-pot them, the kitchen window that shows me the dirt that needs washing away. The list is endless. Always. Seldom do I ever feel caught up. It feels insane. And you know what they say: Insanity is repeating the same behaviour over and over but expecting a different result.
In an effort to change the river’s flow, I am practicing patience… learning to dwell in Ambiguity. It is a place where there are no demands (due to a patient husband), but there are many things that beckon. I am floating, rather precariously, between the two shores, at times. Drifting close to the edge of demands, then back again toward the vortex of ‘never-never’.
Being comfortable with ambiguity allows more creative flow. My river of creative flow has temporarily gone underground. I am a dry riverbed, with still waters running deeply but with no access… temporarily… awaiting a flood of new energy rushing in and raising me up to see possibility. At first it seems like Ambiguity is nothingness. But it is everything-ness. All things are possible when we have not yet chosen. Dwelling in Ambiguity gives me more time to examine the possibilities.
And even if we have chosen, we can choose again. We have the Universe’s permission.
Filing papers, sweeping leaves and floors, dusting table tops, washing windows rob my energy, steal my focus, reduce joy and energy.
If I first think I must, then I must not.
But if I first think, I would like to, then I must.
When it is implied on social media that I must ‘share’ or re-post something if I agree with it, I will not. Ever. Don’t tell me what I must do, how I must behave. I no longer even listen to myself on that topic.
Share your thoughts with me if you wish… but only if you want to.